Erika Kirk has publicly responded to a recent New York Times opinion piece, stating that the article profoundly misinterprets the essence of marriage and parenthood, and inaccurately portrays her personal views.
Kirk argued that the entire article was infused with a perspective that views family predominantly through the lens of monetary gain and professional advancement, suggesting these elements bring fulfillment and purpose. She countered this perspective by emphasizing the enduring value of human connection over material wealth.
"When you’re on your death bed, your money and your career won’t be whispering in your ear 'I love you' as you take your last breath. The material goods and fortune of this world mean nothing when we go to our eternal resting place," Kirk wrote.
The opinion piece, titled "The Gap Between the Families We Have and the Ones Conservatives Want," was authored by Jessica Grose. Grose's article specifically referenced comments Kirk made during the Hillsdale College commencement ceremony in May.
Disputed Statements on Marrying Young and Having Children
According to Grose's account, Kirk had stated that if her late husband were still alive, he would have advocated for them to marry at a young age. Kirk also conveyed that her husband would have encouraged having "more kids than you can afford." Grose's article noted that this particular statement drew criticism, especially in light of current economic challenges, such as elevated prices for fuel and groceries.
Grose characterized Kirk's message as countercultural. The opinion writer also mentioned another speaker at a women's leadership summit in June, a 21-year-old married individual, who reportedly declared her husband as the head of her household and labeled feminism a "psyop." Grose concluded that early marriage is not a widespread desire among most Americans.
In her rebuttal, Kirk pointed out that the author of the opinion piece "conveniently leaves out the part of my Hillsdale commencement speech where I said 'marry young, not rushed, but young.'"
Grose, in her original article, contended that encouraging more Americans to establish families does not necessitate "a stubborn, unwanted return to a patriarchal, midcentury Christian idea of marriage." She further argued that by framing the ideal 21st-century relationship in outmoded terms, conservatives are overlooking the contemporary realities of how Americans choose to live their lives.
Clarifying the "Affordability" of Children
Kirk reiterated in her response that individuals should not postpone having children. She articulated a belief in divine order, suggesting that a life structured according to this order—marriage first, then children, followed by other pursuits—receives amplified blessings.
"Timing matters because life is shorter than you might think, and you never know what could happen. The point is, don’t put it off. Don’t rush it or force it if it’s not right, but don’t put it off," Kirk wrote.
Reflecting on her own experience, Kirk married her husband in 2021 when she was 32 and he was 27. While she did not consider this age either too old or too young, she expressed a desire that they had met sooner to begin their family earlier.
Addressing the notion of perfect timing for children, Kirk asserted that such a concept does not exist. She acknowledged that financial struggles are an inherent part of life but suggested that many Americans are focused on individual survival rather than self-sacrifice. She believes they anticipate a specific lifestyle influenced by online portrayals.
"When Charlie encouraged young people to have more kids than they can afford, he wasn’t saying to recklessly bring a child into this world and have them on welfare. He was saying children aren’t a luxury item to have once you meet a certain tax bracket threshold. You don’t need a mansion in order to build a family," she explained.
Throughout her piece, Grose referenced Stephanie Coontz’s book, "For Better and Worse," which explores the diverse forms marriage has taken across various cultures and historical periods.
Grose concluded her article by stating, "I take conservatives at their word that they want more people to get married and for those people to have more children than they are currently having. But it makes absolutely no sense to create a definition of marriage that excludes the desires and ideals of a substantial majority of Americans."
